Herrrrrrooooo

I return to Milwaukee December 31st. 

Be there to love me?

uhhhhhm

Ma Feetses

Mister Jesus

I'm Lazy

Sorry I suck

Czechs Love..

Frank Zappa

Really. They do a whole lot. After the velvet revolution (the 21st anniversary is today) he came to Prague to talk to the president about economic policy.?

Prague Fall

Czech Facebook

I've been amassing a collection of screenshots of czech facebook ads. It all began with one promoting men's push up underwear. Sadly I don't have a picture of that one but the rest are prettttty good.

Also I don't know what any of them say.

We have WiFi and Dr. Pepper!

sweet sweet Sokolov

Last weekend my new french babe best friend Cécile and I went to the still reeling from communism dismal excuse for a town Sokolov. We went for a film festival organized by art students from Prague and didn't really know what to expect. We got to Sokolov around 5:00 but didn't have a map and wandered around looking for the movie theater and asking locals for directions in my very limited Czech. Finally we found it and drank some free beer before seeing Peter Greenway's film Night Watching which is about Rembrandt. It was real cool and afterward we walked to a gymnasium with 60 Czech strangers to sleep on the floor.

The next day we went to see a movie at 11:00 which from what I was able to understand (no subtitles) was about a man who goes to a womans house where she cooks for him and he eats. a lot. Then he eats the furniture and sees spirals. Then we saw a French movie that I didn't understand. Then I ate some cous cous. The last movie we saw was a Belgian film called Vase de Noces which didn't have any dialogue. It was reallll weird. Beastiality and caprophagy weird.

The next day we took the train back to Prague and it was real pretty.

late in the night

Would you freaks write me some comments already?
I'm bored man.

excuse me, make this.

Frying is a good time so tonight I made this magic pancake
you should probably try it because it will make your body smile before it has a heart attack

first you'll want to cook about four red potatoes in the microwave
while thats happening you should take out a sauce pan, turn on the stove and melt about four tablespoons of butter in it. then add about half a cup of vegetable broth, a tablespoon of lemon juice and a whole lot of capers.

your potatoes should be done now. (I think you're doing a great job) take them out of the microwave and put them in the sauce pan. turn off the stove and get mashing. skins are healthy, leave them on. then add about half a cup of millet, some pepper,  half a diced tomato and some other stuff you like. mix it. if its wet add some flour til you can comfortably make a pancake out of your mixture.

ok, make some pancakes. put them in some flour and shake off the excess. Fry them in olive oil til they are crispy. EAT EM!
ok I love you
I really do

Forum 2000

Forum 2000 is a conference held in Prague every year begun by Vaclav Havel, the first president of the Czech Republic. It is a summit which invites intellectuals, politicians, human rights advocates etc, to discuss solutions for global problems. Incredibly, I am allowed to attend as many lectures as I want, drink coffeez, eat small sandwiches and rub elbows with former presidents and Nobel Peace Prize winners.

Today I went to a panel concerned with poverty, corruption and possible solutions. In attendance were the former president of Nigeria, the head of Amnesty International in India/Great Britain, a civil rights lawyer and advocate from Zimbabwe, the former Korean minister for economic planning and the executive secretary of the UN economic commission for Europe.

My life rules, right?

Tomorrow I will see Shirin Ebadi, and Iranian lawyer who won the Nobel Peace Prize for her civil rights work and efforts toward the advancement of women. yeeee!

MakeOutz

So I've noticed (with little difficulty) that making out is some sort of Czech national pastime. I'm not talking about a 'hi I missed you today' kiss. oh no. I'm talking ass-grabbing, hair tangling, body groping, tongues visible kissing going on everywhere, all the time. Park benches, moving subway trains, grocery stores. Basically any place is the right place. Makes a lady kind of neeeed a man.

Dresden

Last weekend I went to Dresden. It is about a two hour bus ride from Prague which winds through some lovely country. bla bla bla
Dresden Rules
I went to another Big Lebowski bar where I met Toby the bar tender who fed us the most incredible marshmallows and peach rings I've ever had. I also decided to become a carnivore and eat 3 dönner kebabs which are gyros, but way better. They are filled with red cabbage and some kind of magic mystery red sauce that you are just praying gets left behind on your chin so you can have some later.
Turns out I still speak some German which came in very handy, and guess what!? It is so fun to speak. Way tooooo fun, now I just do it all the time. I met 5 Germans at a party last night and talked to them like an idiot for an hour. What's wrong with me? waaaaa
bye

 This water was cold

 These guys were singing some German songs.

 The Elba River runs through the middle of the city.

I peed behind this bridge.

View of my View

Karlstejn

 Yesterday some lady friends and I rented bikes and went for a ride. The guy working at the rental place told us the castle town of Karlstejn was only 20 miles away and the path was pretty easy to navigate. We agreed and set out through the city center in search of the bike trail. Let me tell you riding on cobblestones is no party-I hope I can still get pregnant some day. The bike path was fairly easy to navigate except when it ended abruptly, or forked with no signs to direct us. In those instances broken czech pleas for help and intuition came to our aid and after over three hours we made it Karlstejn. I think the 20 mile estimate may have been off by about ten because I've never been on a flat 20 mile bike ride that take 3.5 hours.
 When we finally got to Karlstejn we were quite dismayed to discover that the castle sat atop a sizable minimountain which despite the considerable soreness plaguing our behinds, we halfheartedly agreed to climb. It took about half an hour to make our way up the winding lane choked with souvenir shops and finally the steep path to the castle. When we got to the top we learned admission would cost thriteen dollars and decided to go back down. It was spectacular enough from the outside. Upon reaching the bottom we agreed that taking the train back was our only real option and headed back to Prague.
  At home I made some real good gnocchi, took a bath with an intense, self administered butt rub and went to sleep early. Today is my first day of real classes and I have 2: Art and Architecture and Anthropology of Czech Society and Culture. yeeee!

Mystery Illness

Something is biting me in the night. I've got itchy red bumps on my face, arms, and back. I've looked for bed bugs but I can't find any. I've never seen a mosquito in my apartment, or any other bugs for that matter. Two of my roommates also have bumps. What the f man?

Farmer's Market

Great news! The saturday farmer's market is half a block from my house! I went this morning and picked up some peppers, tomatoes and garlic. A few hoarders set up a little flea market beside it so I decided to buy some beads and some old keys. It is a pretty beautiful day here and I am quite looking forward to more farmer's markets in the coming weeks.

There are swans everywhere.

Kudy Kam

Last night I went to the state opera to see a production of the modern Czech opera Kudy Kam. We were told that there would be subtitles projected above the stage, but much to our dismay we were misinformed. From the little I was able to understand the play was about a lonely man who is approached by a devilish figure named Kudy Kam who promises to help him find some good companionship. Things got pretty weird - I'm talking men in glitter skirts with neon cosmic Amadeus wigs weird. There was a scene in which a singing Danny DeVito look-a-like was hoisted onto the shoulders of 4 men in neon pink rabbit suits while 8 other pink rabbits rolled on top of each other on the floor. Martin, the protagonist does eventually find love with a woman who appears to be a maid? I was pretty confused and after three hours of Kudy Kam took the subway home in a fog.

Troja Castle

 Last week Sunday I visited Troja Castle with my art and architecture class. It sits on the banks of the Vltava river about 15 miles north of the city center. Troja is frequently called the Versailles of Prague and though it is on a much smaller scale it is obvious that is has a mean French brother. It was built for the Counts of Sternberg in 1679 and was owned and manintained by Czech Aristocrats until the communists claimed it as state property and left it in disarray. After the iron curtain fell the castle was renovated and became an important tourist attraction. The weekend I visited Troja was hosting a wine festival. In september Czechs enjoy a wine called Burchak which is still quite young. Being in the process of fermenting makes it bubbly and sweet. It is like a magic fruit punch. We've been warned that if you drink too much you will shit your pants.
  I know that its a little early to be bored with castles, but this Troja is basically like all of the other ones. Exquisitely vaulted ceilings with fat angel babies painted on are always a nice thing to look at, so that was good. I spent an hour looking around and taking photos, bought a liter and a half of wine and headed home.

Last Night

Last night I drank five white russians at a bar called the big lebowski. Its the only bar I've heard of where you get to decide how much you want to pay for everything. They won't even tell you what they think is a fair price - they just repeat "whatever you want" And guess what? the dude was satisfied.

Daniel made this look so great. Isn't he the best?

Medieval Timez Man

Our final stop before heading back to Prague was the bone church, which is exactly what it sounds like. Back in the 14th and 15th century too many people up and died and a lot of graves had to be reused. The corpses in mass graves from war and plague were exhumed and the bones of over 40,000 people now adorn the inside of this church. Its so creepy that its kind of hard to believe people came here to worship God and not the devil. Now all people worship is the lady at the souvenir table who will gladly sell you tiny replicas of skulls and glossy bone post cards.

Kutna Hora

  Today all 85 Americans on my program plus a handful of Czech guides hopped on a couple buses and drove two hours north east of Prague to the medieval town of Kutna Hora. In the 14th century it was the third largest city in Europe after Prague and London thanks to its hugely successful silver mines. The deepest silver mine in Europe is still located there along with a massive cathedral dedicated to St. Barbara.

  We had the terrifying pleasure of touring the silver mine (unfortunately my camera died right before) which was pretty incredible. We donned white coats and helmets, picked up heavy, box shaped flashlights and walked through town to the mouth of the mine. We walked down 200 steps - 120 feet under ground - in this narrow, soviet looking metal stairwell with black and yellow nuclear stripes on all of the doors. When we finally got to the bottom, our surroundings immediately became dark dripping limestone on all sides and we were instructed to switch on our lights and follow our guide single file into the darkness. The path gradually got lower and narrower until a stretch of about 30 feet which couldn't have been higher than 4 feet and was so narrow I could only fit through it sideways. All the while there were about 10 people on either side of me and I was feeling pretty certain my end was near. At one point we were all instructed to turn off our lights to mimic the conditions miners suffered if the tiny oil lamps they carried went out and they had to pound on the rocky walls until someone came to find them. It was the darkest darkness I've ever experienced and it didn't help that I was 100 feet in the ground with bodies touching me on all sides. I did end up making it to the other side, and even though I had to try really hard  not to completely lose it while I was inside I have to admit that it was pretty damn cool.

 We learned that during the height of the czech silver rush, most mine(o)rs were lucky to make it 25 and spent over 2 hours of each 10 hour day climbing out on narrow wooden ladders. Getting down was easier, as they would slide down chutes on their leather apron clad backs. We also saw a few models of life in the miner's settlement.

After lunch we walked to St. Barbaras which is a gargantuan gothic structure complete with flying buttresses and gargoyles built sometime in the 14th century. The inside is home to numerous altars, a massive pipe organ, miles of stained glass and ornately vaulted cielings. Apparantly St. Barbara was a rich pagan with a pretty protective dad who kept her in a tower. Like a lot of people who do time she found Jesus in a big way. The problem was that Central Europe wasn't hip to the Jesus fever yet and Christians had it pretty rough. When she refused to marry the pagan aristocrat her father had found for her she was tortured and eventually beheaded. Now she has this nice building.

We also walked around town a bunch and saw all the nice buildings and statues and scenery

I got realllllly into those sunglasses man.